What! Me? Biased?

We have already decided that someone or something is good or bad. So we ignore whatever challenges that idea. And jump on information that confirms our opinion!

The canteen was buzzing for the first meal of our Buddhist convention. I spotted a seat opposite someone I've known slightly for years. We see each other most weeks at an online meditation drop-in. I sat down and tried to strike up a conversation. I'd assumed she would be happy to talk to me, but her attention was otherwise occupied. She was looking past my shoulder, scanning the room. I asked if she was looking for someone. She replied, "No," but continued looking around and - well - showing little interest in me. I began to feel miffed. As if she was saying, "You are unimportant to me." I felt a stir of annoyance. A kind of knee-jerk, "If you don't like me, then I don't like you!"

Later, I reflected on the interaction. I saw that I had made the mistake of taking her behaviour personally. I'd made it all about me, taking her lack of attention as a personal slight. A classic ego-centred interpretation! Probably, she was just taking in the scene; spotting other friends and acquaintances in the crowd. There was no rule saying she should want to talk to me! With this shift in perspective, the annoyance evaporated. I had pivoted into seeing that if anyone was at fault, it was me, not her.

Of course, I prefer to feel that I am in the right! However, it is also freeing to be okay with being wrong. Along with mindfulness, self-compassion makes this easier. I no longer tend to 'beat myself up' when I realise I have made a mistake.

Mindfulness practice enables us to notice how our likes and dislikes arise. And also, how they can solidify. Having formed an initial dislike, it is easy to go on to interpret further actions in a bad light. One that confirms and strengthens the negative judgment. The opposite also applies, when we decide we like someone. There is a name for this mindset: confirmation bias. We have already decided that someone or something is good or bad. So we ignore whatever challenges that idea. And jump on information that confirms our opinion! Initial interpretations can progress into deeply held beliefs and prejudices, with real-world consequences. 

It's useful to spot those first interpretations, before they become too fixed. Catching an emotional backlash early on makes it easier to let go of. Research shows that mindfulness can help to reduce confirmation bias. And other forms of bias too*. It widens our perspective, and brings awareness to our automatic judgments. It reveals our knee-jerk reactions, which reduces their power.

In recent years, I have become curious about bias in its many forms. Bias can be defined as follows:

A one-sided preference, leaning, or prejudice for or against something that prevents objective judgment. (Google AI summary)

We all have leanings, whether from our upbringing or personality. Spotting other people's biases can be relatively easy! But seeing one's own is much harder. By their nature, our own prejudices mostly stay under the radar, like shy animals. We are lucky even to catch a glimpse of the tail, as the creature scuttles back into the undergrowth. Studies show that it's normal to assume bias affects other people. But we believe that we ourselves see the truth. This is termed the bias blind spot. Research shows that more than 85% of people believe they are less biased than the average person**. Clearly, the maths doesn't add up! It's both amusing and disturbing to recognise how deluded we can be.  

Overcoming bias is not easy. Two and a half millennia ago, followers praised the Buddha's unbiased nature. They saw it as a rare and hard-won quality. 

Contemporary psychology suggests that some implicit bias is inevitable. We are all conditioned by our particular background and experiences. And the brain makes mental shortcuts. Suppose we have had a good - or bad - experience with a certain type of person. After, we may be trusting - or wary - of others who remind us of them. Throughout our evolution, this has probably been helpful for our survival. But bias also means we see things less clearly. We can take steps towards greater objectivity. Understanding that we are biased is a good start. Blind faith in one's own objectivity is a serious obstacle! 

I have found it useful to name particular species of bias in my own thinking. Take, for example, the above example in which I made the interaction 'all about me'. Egocentricity is, arguably, the core bias. Seeing oneself as the centre of the universe is natural. After all, our vision and other senses make it seem as through everything is arranged around us. But we take the idea of being at the centre too far. We may take things personally. Take offence. And there is the obvious point that billions of people cannot all be the centre of the universe! 

This mindset also has a collective version. We unconsciously imagine that our particular group are the ones who see the world correctly. That could be our nationality; race; class; generation; and so on. This is known as my-side bias. I am a white, heterosexual woman from one of the richer Western countries. The mainstream culture around me suggests, with more or less subtlety, that I am - simply - normal. It is easy to take the privileges of my background for granted. To miss the fact that people with other backgrounds and identities may not share those benefits.

The idea that I am (or we are) of central importance is the source of much discord in the world. Practicing mindfulness is known to be good for our well-being. And it can also reduce the sum total of our deluded thinking. That has to be worthwhile, in this tangled, conflicted world.

*Philip Z Maymin & Ellen J Langer, 2021

**Emily Pronin and colleagues, 2002