LoveMindfulness

The most intimate relationship we will ever have is with ourselves. How do we respond when facing our own suffering? Do we throw ourselves into the waters of our own pain? Piling on layers of suffering through harsh self-criticism? Or do we offer ourselves care and support, as we would for a dear friend or loved one? Exposure to suffering is never easy. Whether it is the distress of a child or unfair treatment to oneself or a loved one, suffering hurts. When we witness suffer

The enraptured audience went on clapping and cheering for minutes on end. They had loved the powerful music* and wanted to express their admiration to the musicians. I too had enjoyed the concert (viewed on YouTube). But I loved the exuberant atmosphere at the end just as much. Perhaps, more. How often do people come together to express such open, unmixed delight? Genuine appreciation is a beautiful thing. Whether among family, friends, or work mates, the contrast between fee

I began to understand that I do not have to justify my existence. This has been liberating. But there was a downside. A default 'no' can become as much of a habit as an automatic 'yes' once was. I'm pondering how to live a fulfilled and happy life as I age. With others, I have been witnessing a national treasure celebrate his centenary. David Attenborough is exceptional. His capacity to educate and delight; his untiring advocacy for the non-human world. How people trust him,

It may seem strange to welcome negative, destructive emotions. Isn't it right to be afraid of acting on such unwholesome impulses? Once on a silent meditation retreat, I noticed that I had taken a dislike to another woman. I had never spoken to her, or even met her before. Where was this ill-will was coming from? After a while, the penny dropped. In physical appearance, she reminded me of a girl who had bullied me at school. On this 'basis', I had formed an unfounded dislik

My anger was hurting me and someone I care about, while having zero impact on the issues of concern. And it was a long way from a practice I aspire to: 'be the peace you wish to see in the world' Martin Luther King Jr . As I read the news report, adrenaline surged. I was upset. Angry. A familiar internal rant started up. A repeat of many previous responses to the global news cycle. War. Unaccountable power and greed. Inequality. Corruption. And terrible, horrifying suffer

In the long run, avoidance of unwanted emotions doesn’t work. In the wise words of children's author Michael Rosen, "We can't go over it. We can't go under it. We've got to go through it!" Excerpt from 'We're Going on a Bear Hunt' The amygdala hijack came without warning: a sudden, undesired takeover by stress hormones. I had been sitting in a trustees' training session, feeling relaxed. The trainer was a thoughtful woman, and knowledgeable about her subject: workplace apprai

Something different had replaced that old, harsh script: " stupid idiot! " Ten minutes after parking in the new-to-me, cheaper car park, I was no closer to buying my ticket. I'd considered myself organised for downloading the parking app beforehand. But now I was failing, on repeat, to verify my bank card. Cue an urgent call to my partner at home to look up a password. That didn't work either. I was now late for a meeting. I felt like a failure. The many previous times I hav

It was a battle to compete with the wall of sound, and we were the losers. It wasn't what I'd expected! The lack of response stung. Looking back, I saw that my expectations of the occasion had been unrealistic. In fact, they were the main cause of the hurt I felt. In my mind's eye, the party guests were going to pause their conversations and gather around. As we donned our guitars, a respectful hush would fall. Everyone would be keen to hear the three songs my friend and I

Take a moment to mentally step back. Ask yourself, 'how important would this issue look six months from now? ..A few years on?' I find that in most cases, the answer is 'not important at all'. Sometimes, this flags up what is important. Often, this is to do with our relationships. It matters how we treat people, including ourselves. By this time of year, hedgehogs, dormice and bats have tucked themselves away for the winter. Hibernation is nature's way of surviving the co