LoveMindfulness

We have already decided that someone or something is good or bad. So we ignore whatever challenges that idea. And jump on information that confirms our opinion! The canteen was buzzing for the first meal of our Buddhist convention. I spotted a seat opposite someone I've known slightly for years. We see each other most weeks at an online meditation drop-in. I sat down and tried to strike up a conversation. I'd assumed she would be happy to talk to me, but her attention was oth

Imagine you see someone drowning. But instead of keeping yourself safe so you can help, you throw yourself into the water. You both drown! Exposure to suffering is never easy. Whether it is the distress of a child or unfair treatment to oneself or a loved one, suffering hurts. When we witness suffering in others, it is natural to also feel pain in ourselves: this is empathy. Because we know suffering, we can identify with how bad it feels for others to be in pain. Regular exp

The enraptured audience went on clapping and cheering for minutes on end. They had loved the powerful music* and wanted to express their admiration to the musicians. I too had enjoyed the concert (viewed on YouTube). But I loved the exuberant atmosphere at the end just as much. Perhaps, more. How often do people come together to express such open, unmixed delight? Genuine appreciation is a beautiful thing. Whether among family, friends, or work mates, the contrast between fee

I began to understand that I do not have to justify my existence. This has been liberating. But there was a downside. A default 'no' can become as much of a habit as an automatic 'yes' once was. I'm pondering how to live a fulfilled and happy life as I age. With others, I have been witnessing a national treasure celebrate his centenary. David Attenborough is exceptional. His capacity to educate and delight; his untiring advocacy for the non-human world. How people trust him,

It may seem strange to welcome negative, destructive emotions. Isn't it right to be afraid of acting on such unwholesome impulses? Once on a silent meditation retreat, I noticed that I had taken a dislike to another woman. I had never spoken to her, or even met her before. Where was this ill-will was coming from? After a while, the penny dropped. In physical appearance, she reminded me of a girl who had bullied me at school. On this 'basis', I had formed an unfounded dislik

My anger was hurting me and someone I care about, while having zero impact on the issues of concern. And it was a long way from a practice I aspire to: 'be the peace you wish to see in the world' Martin Luther King Jr . As I read the news report, adrenaline surged. I was upset. Angry. A familiar internal rant started up. A repeat of many previous responses to the global news cycle. War. Unaccountable power and greed. Inequality. Corruption. And terrible, horrifying suffer

In the long run, avoidance of unwanted emotions doesn’t work. In the wise words of children's author Michael Rosen, "We can't go over it. We can't go under it. We've got to go through it!" Excerpt from 'We're Going on a Bear Hunt' The amygdala hijack came without warning: a sudden, undesired takeover by stress hormones. I had been sitting in a trustees' training session, feeling relaxed. The trainer was a thoughtful woman, and knowledgeable about her subject: workplace apprai

Something different had replaced that old, harsh script: " stupid idiot! " Ten minutes after parking in the new-to-me, cheaper car park, I was no closer to buying my ticket. I'd considered myself organised for downloading the parking app beforehand. But now I was failing, on repeat, to verify my bank card. Cue an urgent call to my partner at home to look up a password. That didn't work either. I was now late for a meeting. I felt like a failure. The many previous times I hav

It was a battle to compete with the wall of sound, and we were the losers. It wasn't what I'd expected! The lack of response stung. Looking back, I saw that my expectations of the occasion had been unrealistic. In fact, they were the main cause of the hurt I felt. In my mind's eye, the party guests were going to pause their conversations and gather around. As we donned our guitars, a respectful hush would fall. Everyone would be keen to hear the three songs my friend and I

Take a moment to mentally step back. Ask yourself, 'how important would this issue look six months from now? ..A few years on?' I find that in most cases, the answer is 'not important at all'. Sometimes, this flags up what is important. Often, this is to do with our relationships. It matters how we treat people, including ourselves. By this time of year, hedgehogs, dormice and bats have tucked themselves away for the winter. Hibernation is nature's way of surviving the co

The nervous system does not differentiate 'social' threat from bodily threat. We all meet risk in our lives. Even if we do not practice extreme sports or live in a war zone, we still have to negotiate busy roads. Yet, for most of us, times when we are at physical risk are few. More often it is not a physical threat but everyday interactions that seem to present danger. Here, the sense of threat arises in relation not to the body, but to one's idea of oneself . Most of us li

A quality of solidarity, free from the social pressures that can hover as we navigate our interactions with others As the meditation drew...

A full bowl is an apt symbol of being crammed with thoughts and ideas. An empty bowl suggests openness to something new. A space for the...

At its most enjoyable, meditation has brought me sublime experiences of open-hearted joy. But it has also brought some nasty surprises....

It was impossible! I'd made a four-foot-tall sculpture of a standing woman and was trying to get her to balance on her feet. Nope. It...

I sensed that she had me rumbled. Why couldn't I admit the truth? It doesn't make any sense to breathe in but not breathe out again. Or...

How not to build regrets Avocet: crayon rubbing With wax crayon in hand and paper flapping in the wind, I took a rubbing from the...

Living in a town and surrounded by managed land, qualities of the wild can seem in short supply. The squally rain on the corrugated roof...

Was my body showing me how to grieve? I'd signed up for my regular New Year (online) retreat months ago. The natural pause between...

The separation of death is not as absolute as it might seem A huge flock of gulls rose up from down the hill, mesmerising as they wheeled...