"It’s like the comfortable silence you have with a great friend or partner"

Many have experienced the proven benefits of a mindfulness course.  Studies have shown that meditation improves focus, emotional resilience and compassion. It reduces stress and depression, and even benefits our physical health. But to continue reaping these benefits, we must maintain a regular practice. This requires a level of discipline that can be challenging. We may have planned to keep up a regular practice, but - well - life happened! There were stressful or busy times. A growing resistance can creep up and other activities look more attractive- (scrolling?). We may lose the habit for no obvious reason.

What helps us to stay with it?

Some people prefer to meditate alone, and have the discipline to keep going. But for most of us, meditating with others is an essential support. Meditating in-person in a group can be a calming, grounding experience. The palpable stillness and quiet can feel energising, even moving. But in-person classes aren't always convenient. There may be nothing local; constraints of time, or funds. Fortunately, meditating with others online offers similar benefits. I recently asked participants at my online drop-ins what they appreciate about practicing in a group. I'd like to share some of their comments here*:

1. It's energising & encouraging:

• "The sense of peace, calm and stillness in silence is more powerful when others share the practice."

• "When I am struggling to meditate, knowing that others are meditating with me really helps me stick it out."

2. Almost everyone mentioned community and connection:

• "We are a community and support one another."

• "Connecting with like-minded individuals, all purposefully choosing to meditate together is incredibly valuable. "

• "It's lovely to feel a connection with a community; it makes me feel less isolated... the reassurance that you're not alone."

• "I feel well nurtured and safe in the group setting."

• "The universal connection is so powerful."

3. Being together with others in silence can be a relief:

• "Like the comfortable silence you have with a great friend or partner."

• "Low-demand togetherness, introverts unite!"

4. An accountable, protected space; co-created by everyone who shows up:

• "There's something about accountability - this has become an anchor point in my week."

• "Being online creates boundaries so I have my own space too!"

• "I am depended upon, which is spiritually growing."

• "It feels like a sacred and protected space"

5. The value of time for shared reflections, questions and inquiry:

Like most mindfulness teachers, I offer space for shared reflections and questions following the practice. Contributing is optional and can be verbal or via the chat function. Rather than the meditation teacher 'teaching from the front,' they can respond in the moment. This 'inquiry' is a wonderful context for experiential learning. The issues raised are live for that participant, and may also be relevant to others in the group. It can be inspiring for people to hear how the practice is working for others. And reassuring to realise that they are not alone in their own struggles:  

•  "I find it really valuable hearing other people's experiences."  

• "It is reassuring to be reminded that, even when meditating, we can still have busy minds. There may be critical thoughts, to-do lists and so on going on in our heads. It allows me to be more compassionate towards myself."

•  "The contribution of others afterwards is so helpful and informative."  

Even a brief period of sharing can be nourishing and bonding for the group. This is particularly powerful over time, if people attend regularly.

As a mindfulness teacher, I count myself fortunate to be a part of these online sessions. (I also join a weekly session as a participant). Gratitude to the tech wizards who make it possible! During any session, I am aware that individual experiences can vary. For some, there may be struggle, for others, a sense of freeing up. But meditation is generally motivated by seeking release from discomfort. Whatever our discomfort, we can ease it through sharing with others, and this works every way. Articulating our experience is clarifying and gives us a broader perspective. Listening with care helps others to understand themselves. Speaking our truth can also help others to understand themselves. And listening to others likewise helps us to understand ourselves. This sometimes powerful quality is known as 'normalising': as when we realise we aren't the only one to struggle with distraction or restlessness. I find I am as likely to learn from these sessions as anyone else.

If want to maintain or reestablish a meditation practice, why not join one of the following?:

I currently offer online drop-ins in three different contexts, all three of which are open to all levels of experience:

·         11.00-11.40am Tuesdays (Includes 10 minutes for shared reflections)- Love Mindfulness drop-in currently 6-8 people. Open to all, though most attendees are long-term meditators and the guidance is more spacious than the other drop-ins. BY DONATION

·         8.15-8.45am (+ optional shared reflections for 5-10 minutes) Wednesdays- Sussex Mindfulness & Compassion I teach this as part of a small team of mindfulness teachers. FREE

·         8.00-8.30am Tuesdays; 5.00-5.30pm Thursdays, (+ 10 mins shared reflections). This is part of Suzy Bolt’s Rest Repair Recover program for people with chronic fatigue, however anyone can attend the drop-in; see the timetable to book. £4

*I have edited some comments for length and readability