Why bother to go on a retreat?

A quality of solidarity, free from the social pressures that can hover as we navigate our interactions with others

As the meditation drew to an end, my eyes wandered to my fellow retreatants. One had a lovely smile. One had a tear streaking his cheek, though he seemed more soulful than sad. One looked bored and uncomfortable; ready for the practice to end. Each of these could have been me, at one time or another. Whatever the moment was bringing for each individual, there was a beauty in our sitting in silence together. A quality of solidarity, free from the social pressures that can hover as we navigate our interactions with others. In the silence of meditation, the tendency to categorise oneself and others reduces. Each of us simply a person with our all-too-human mind. A mind capable of anything and everything: from inspirational delight to absurd notions and self-inflicted stress.

Going away on retreat has been part of the rhythm of my life for many years. Some retreats have been enjoyable and inspiring. Some have been dominated by struggle. Exploring one's inner world is not always pleasant. Yet, on occasion, poignant learning has arisen from facing difficulties. In general, it is a mixed bag. In almost every case, it has been worthwhile.

Themes and approaches vary, but the broad purpose of a meditation retreat is to grow our mindfulness, kindness and self awareness. It is an opportunity to create supportive conditions for practice. The context of a retreat can be helpful in shifting one's normal habits. For example, it can be hard for me to resist the urge to look at my phone, even when there is no need to do so. Over this week, my phone remained switched off in a drawer. I didn't even miss it! The retreat centre had been clear in their request for us to put our phones away. That helped. I was glad of their firmness, which made it easier to change my usual behaviour.

Another benefit is that our retreat companions can be inspiring. Last week, an 83 year old woman from San Fransisco had flown over to join us. Slow on her feet and with deteriorating eyesight, she still managed to find her way through the complex of buildings. When we met to share our experiences (we were not in silence for the whole time) she brought a wry wit and an infectious quality of appreciation. We were all touched by the intrepid determination it must have taken her just to be there.

Some people find that they can create a retreat context for themselves at home. There may be circumstances - financial or otherwise - that make going away on retreat impractical. I have myself benefited from doing online and self-guided retreats. But like many others, I appreciate the advantages inherent to a residential retreat. It's helpful to have other people keeping supportive boundaries in place. And it can be nourishing to share this quiet, reflective space with others. If you have never been away on retreat, I recommend giving it a go. If you have been before, how about going again sometime?